Dying Embers
by SunKrux
Summary: Will Myka forget or forgive?  COMPLETE – All Chapters posted now.
1. Lighting a Fire

**Dying Embers**

**By:** SunKrux

July 2010

**Tag: **Will Myka forget or forgive?

**A/N:** This takes place right after _Burnout_. Complete – chapters to be posted once a week until all are up. It's how I roll. ;)

**Characters/Pairings:** Myka Bering, Pete Lattimer, Artie Nielsen, Claudia Donovan, Leena

No copyright infringement intended. I do not own the characters and promise not to damage them…any more than the show writers do, maybe. I will return them to the Warehouse when we're done playing.

**Thanks to: **bluelittlegirl and kat_rowe for their beta work.

**Chapter 1 – Lighting a Fire**

After Rebecca left Jack Seacourt's preserved room, Myka remained for a few moments pondering Rebecca's warning. It had been a long day and her brain really couldn't manage processing anything else so she pushed aside the warning and walked out of the room. The curly haired agent made her way back to Artie's office. She entered the office to hear Pete and Claudia yet again teasing Artie about how Pete had died.

"Artie, are we done here?" she asked hoping she didn't sound irritated with anyone in the room. She just wanted to go back to Leena's, take a long, hot shower and forget all about this mission and the day it brought rushing back.

"You finish your report?" the curmudgeonly agent inquired.

Usually she was the first one to finish the report on 'snagging, bagging and tagging' artifacts but today, she just didn't have the heart to do it.

"Artie, I'll turn it in tomorrow. I'm kind of tired and want to go back to Leena's, I'll finish it there," she told him picking up the report she had started.

Artie looked at her for a moment before nodding, acknowledging that he could trust his new agent to get the job done. And making it clear that he knew she was only human. Myka looked away quickly, as she didn't want him to see how upset and confused she was feeling right then.

"Okay just make sure I get it tomorrow."

"You know you will Artie, it's Myka after all-always making me look bad," Pete joked.

Myka closed her eyes and counted to ten before turning to face Pete, "That's right Pete, my only purpose in life is to make you look bad. Now give me the keys to the SUV please. I'm ready to go." She told him holding out her hand.

"But I'm not ready to go yet," her childlike partner protested.

Myka rolled her eyes, "Pete, stop it. You can get a ride back with Artie and Claudia," she reminded him.

"Uh, how's he going to do that in a two-seater, Myka?" Claudia hesitantly asked.

Sighing heavily, Myka relented, "Fine, I'll walk back," and she headed to the door.

"Wait, Myka, you're going to walk the seven miles back to the B&B even though you're tired?" Pete wondered.

Not bothering to turn around as she answered, she said, "Yes I'm going to walk back because gods forbid I should inconvenience you because I'm ready to leave."

"Hey, no need to get testy with me. It's not my fault you had to give up your car." Pete countered.

Myka grabbed her bag and continued walking to the door, punched in the code to unlock it and walked out. The door seemed to take its own sweet time closing she thought as she heard Pete speaking.

"Who licked the sugar off her Frosted Flakes?"

"Dude, seriously, you're going to make her walk back?" Claudia asked looking at him.

"What? Why do I have to leave when she wants to go?" he wondered.

"Because she doesn't have a car anymore moron, remember? Word from on high came down that one of the rentals had to go back due to budget constraints. Keeping the SUV was the most logical choice since some of the artifacts you two pick up wouldn't have fit in the trunk of the rental she had," the youngest member of the team reminded him.

Pete looked at Claudia, then Artie, then the closed door, "Why can't Claudia take her back in your car Artie?"

Claudia snorted as Artie slowly looked up from his task, "Because **no one** drives my car anymore but me. You and Myka saw to that with your little joke after the incident with the bomb back in Colorado."

"Aw man you're still mad at us about that? We didn't hurt your car, it was a joke." Pete complained.

"You could always give Claudia the keys and let her take Myka back while you stay here and work on your report so I can make sure you finish it this time," Artie told Pete.

Pete sighed then fished the keys out of his pocket and tossed them to Claudia, "Fine. I guess that's what I get for not wanting to leave, right?"

Claudia caught the keys and took off, hoping to catch Myka before she had gotten too far. It was a long walk back and it was an especially hot day.

Myka made it as far as the bottom of the steps to the door leading to the outside world. She really didn't want to walk back but she wasn't going to beg Pete to do anything for her. Not after what he had asked of her.

"Myka!" Claudia called.

Myka jumped a little when she heard Claudia's voice bouncing off the walls of the umbilicus.

"I'm right here Claudia. You don't need to yell," Myka answered, as she turned to greet the young woman.

"Pete gave me the keys to the SUV I can drive you back. It's too hot out today to be making that walk, especially without any water to drink," Claudia said dangling them off her fingers.

"I thought you wanted to stay, too?" Myka questioned.

"I'll drive you back and then come back here if Artie calls. I've finished everything Artie had me doing anyway and I'd rather not listen to Pete whine about having to finish his report," Claudia informed the older woman.

"Thank you," was Myka's quiet response as she started up the stairs.

"Hey? Myka?"

"Yes?"

"Are you okay?"

"I'll be fine, Claudia, I'm just tired. It was a long night," Myka said as she opened the door and pulled out her sunglasses.

Both women hurried to the SUV to get out of the sun and heat. They were soon on the way back to Leena's. The ride back was quiet as Claudia was concentrating on driving Pete's SUV and Myka was lost in thought.


	2. Fanning the Flames

**Chapter 2 – Fanning the Flames**

Once back at Leena's, Myka took her bag and report, then retreated upstairs. Claudia wandered off to see if Leena needed any help in the kitchen as it was close to dinnertime.

Myka went to her room, left her things, grabbed her favorite pajamas and headed to the bathroom. Turning on the water, she undressed as she waited for it to get warm enough, then stepped in and pulled the curtain closed.

She stood under the water for quite a while, willing herself not to cry. Myka was exhausted and, now that she was away from the warehouse and the others, she allowed herself to release some of the control she was exerting over her emotions.

_How could he ask me to do that?_ She wondered as she turned around and let the water soak her hair. Reaching for the shampoo she tried and failed-miserably-at forgetting the scene that was playing out in her mind. Pete being tortured by the _Spine_ and asking her to kill him to stop it. She hadn't been able to do it. Myka couldn't lose another partner. She knew that if she did, especially with Sam's death still so fresh in her mind, she wouldn't survive it. Losing Pete would have pushed her over the edge because, once again, she would have been unable to control the situation. Myka couldn't bear that guilt ever again.

Shaking her head as she squeezed out some shampoo, Myka focused on the task at hand. She scrubbed and conditioned her hair, then washed away the grime from the mission. Turning off the water, she stepped out of the shower and grabbed a towel. She quickly dried herself and put on her PJs. She hung the towel up because it bugged her and Leena when Pete just left his lying on the floor. The dark-haired agent grabbed her dirty clothes and went back to her room.

Myka threw her dirty clothes in the hamper housed in her closet, then walked over the cage that housed her pet ferret. Pete's namesake was sleeping, and he had enough food and water. Claudia must have checked on him while she and Pete were in Detroit. Myka would have to remember to thank her later. Checking to make sure her door was closed, since she didn't want anyone thinking she was available for discussion, Myka walked to her bed, pulled the covers down, and crawled under them.

Curling up on her side, back facing the door, Myka finally allowed herself a few minutes of release. The tears slowly fell on her pillow as she relived what had happened to Pete and how she had failed him by not being able to do what he had asked.

If Rebecca hadn't been there, would she have been able to electrocute Pete in order to save others from the _Spine_? Myka honestly wasn't sure. She lay curled in a ball for a while, crying, thinking not only that she had failed her partner, but also how she had been responsible for Sam's death.

Both Claudia and Leena called Myka to come down for dinner when Pete and Artie had arrived, but there was no answering call. Then Claudia had mentioned that she thought something was wrong with Myka since she had seemed rather despondent in the car. All of this had Pete concerned, so he took it upon himself to check on his partner and noticed it was dark under her door. Pausing for a moment, he listened and could hear the ferret moving around in his sleep and thought he could hear Myka. Was she crying? He knocked on the door as he considered this.

"Myka, Leena wanted me to tell you dinner was ready," he said quietly opening the door.

Myka heard the knock and ignored him. When she heard the door open, she tensed but pretended to be asleep in the hope that he'd go away. She wasn't ready to talk, and Pete, being Pete, would push until she gave in and told him what was wrong. She was angry-at him and herself-and didn't want to get into an argument. On top of all she was feeling emotionally, it had been freezing in Detroit. That, the rain, and the running around after the Spine had taken its toll on her, so she was physically exhausted as well.

"Hey, partner, you awake?" Pete called, softly moving across the floor. The light from the hall flooded the room, leading Myka to bury her head under the covers because the glare hurt her eyes

From under the covers Pete heard, "I am now, thanks to you."

"Dinner's done. You going to come down and eat?" he asked moving closer.

"No. I'm not hungry," She answered groggily, willing him to leave.

Pete sat on the edge of the bed. "Hey you okay?"

Myka sighed when she felt his weight and scooted away from him. "I'm just really tired," she responded. It was true, but only a half-truth. Besides, she wasn't sure he'd understand how she was feeling, anyway. Would he get upset with her for being mad at him? Would he understand why she was mad at herself?

Pete sat there, in the silence of Myka's room trying to figure out what to say. Something was obviously off with Myka because she rarely went to bed this early.

"Come on, you need to eat," he nagged.

Myka ignored him.

Pete nudged her hip a little. "Come on, Leena made your favorite."

"No, she didn't."

"How do you know? You haven't been downstairs in ages."

"Pete, I can smell, you know. She made _your_ favorite."

"Oh, yeah, she did."

"Don't let me keep you from it then," Myka encouraged, hoping he'd leave.

Pete decided to persist. "Come on, partner, 'fess up. What's eating you?"

"Pete, not now," was her quiet answer.

"Why not?"

Rolling over a little so she could see him, she responded, "Because I'm not ready to talk about it. Honestly, I am really tired."

When she turned to face him, Pete noticed tear-stains on her cheeks. Were they his fault?

"Myka, I'm sorry about what I said back at the Warehouse. You know I was only joking, right? I don't really believe you're out to make me look bad," he told her trying to smooth things over a little in hopes of getting her to open up more.

"Pete, it's fine. I just want to sleep so can we please talk about this tomorrow?" she questioned.

"Why can't we talk now?"

"Seriously, Pete, not now."

"Myka, come on. You'll feel better."

"Pete. Do not push me."

"Come on, I died so you have to do as I say," he said, jokingly.

Myka stiffened, then rolled back onto her side so he couldn't see her face. "That's not funny, Pete."

"What? My dying or my telling you that you have to do what I say because of it?" he asked.

Myka bit her lower lip to stop it from trembling. She blinked her eyes a few times to stave off the new flood of tears welling up.

"Myka?" Pete murmured touching her shoulder through the covers.

She pulled away. He could hear her sniffle a little.

"What are you so sad about? I'm still here you know," he offered.

Moving the covers away from her face a little more, Myka decided to push him a little.

"How could you…_why_ did you ask me that?"

"Huh?" Pete questioned, confused.

"How could you ask me to kill you?" she asked.

"Because I couldn't think of any other way to stop the _Spine_ and I wasn't about to let it hurt anyone else. I couldn't stand the thought of locking myself up like Jack had. It seemed better, kill myself to stop it. I knew you wouldn't let it get away," he explained.

"But Pete, I couldn't do it. You asked, and I couldn't do it. Rebecca had to do it. If she hadn't been there the _Spine_ would have gotten away," she reminded him.

Pete looked at his partner, "Are you mad at me over that?"

"Yes and no."

"What? How can you be mad and not mad at me?" he queried.

"Logically, I agree with your assessment of how to stop the Spine. Claudia and Artie came to that conclusion, as well - except for the part about you having to die to stop it. But I couldn't do it. Not so soon after Sam's death. I don't think I could-" she started.

"-Lose another partner. I know, Myka, I know. But saving the lives of others is our job, even if it means we have to die to do it," he reminded her.

Getting frustrated because he wasn't understanding her, Myka lashed out, "Have you ever lost a partner, Pete? One you were really close to?"

"No I haven't. I also haven't been close enough to any of my partners to sleep with them either," he shot back, defensively.

Myka sucked in a breath like she'd been punched in the stomach. She closed her eyes tightly. _Here it comes, the judgment for having fallen in love with Sam, s_he thought bracing herself for it.


	3. Slow Burn

**Chapter 3 – Slow Burn**

"How did that start? You know you and Sam?" he asked, genuinely curious.

Myka took a deep breath before responding, "It depends on what you heard. There are some who are convinced that I was the homewrecker. There are others who claim I pursued him. So believe whichever version you heard and go away."

"All I heard was you two were an item, and Sam was separated," he assured her, not sure why she was getting angry with him. "Myka, I'm not judging you for that. There are two sides to it, right? What's your side?"

"Sam had been separated true. Just before Denver he filed his divorce papers." she whispered. "But no one wanted to believe that so they all decided to blame me. No one wanted to hear that it just sort of happened. They all wanted someone to blame and since Sam was everyone's favorite and I was new, it was my fault."

Pete listened as his partner tried to put words to something he couldn't understand.

"Neither of us planned it, you know. He'd been separated for a while." She paused for a moment to collect her thoughts. "We'd been working long hours, and it just happened," she finished.

"What happened after Denver?" he hesitantly asked.

"No one wanted to be partners with me. That's when I put in for the D.C transfer. I couldn't stand it."

"I heard about some of the guys out there blaming you for Sam's death; said that if you hadn't hooked up with him, he wouldn't have been distracted." Pete offered.

Myka sat up. She looked at Pete, fresh tears in her eyes. "I don't need to be reminded that it was my fault," Shaking her head, she added, "You know what? I'm not doing this now. Please go away."

"Myka, come on, I'm not judging you." Pete tried to reassure her.

"It was my fault you died too," she whispered.

"How? What?" he asked confused again.

"If you hadn't pushed me out of the way the _Spine_ might not have latched onto you."

"If I hadn't, it might have latched onto you. I don't think I would have been able to deal with that," he replied.

"Why? Why do men always have to be the hero?" she questioned more to herself than to Pete.

"Why do women have to be so stubborn?" Pete teased.

Myka looked up at him again, "Get out," she told him.

"What? What'd I do now?"

"Just leave, Pete. I'm done."

"No. Let's finish this. Why are you mad at me? I was doing my job," Pete pushed.

"Get. Out."

"Myka, talk to me. Tell me what I did?"

Myka threw the covers off and got out of bed. She stormed over to her closet and pulled out a pair of shoes. She then grabbed some socks out of her dresser. She sat on the bed, as far away from Pete as possible and put them on.

"Myka, what are you doing?" her worried partner asked.

She was finding it hard to breathe. She had to get away from Pete. If he wouldn't leave, then she would. After putting on her shoes, she left her room.

Pete followed her. The closer he got, the faster she walked.

"Come on Myka! Talk to me," he called as they headed down the stairs. By the time she hit the bottom step Myka was running. She ran to the side room and out the French doors. She ran out to the woods behind the house.

"Dude, what's going on? Was that Myka?" Claudia asked as she heard the doors slam. Artie and Leena followed her.

"What's going on?" Artie demanded of the younger agent.

"We were talking and I guess I hit one too many nerves with her. She stopped talking and took off," Pete explained.

Leena went to the doors and looked out. "It's raining. Was she wearing a coat?"

"I don't think so. Myka was in her PJs and tennis shoes," Pete told her.

"Dude, she was shivering like mad in the SUV on the way back earlier," Claudia told him.

"It was pretty damn cold in Detroit," Pete commented.

"Maybe you should go find her and get her back inside before she gets soaked?" Leena suggested.

"I'm not going after her, she's mad at me," Pete resisted.

"Dude, you're the one who started this," Claudia told him.

Artie looked at Pete. "Don't look at me I didn't make her mad, this time."

"Fine I'll go and get her," Pete sighed.


	4. Dying Embers

**Chapter 4 – Dying Embers**

Myka ran to the edge of the woods and stopped, panting. She wasn't sure why she had gotten so angry at Pete for bringing up the past. Maybe it was because she did feel like all of it was her fault: The two of them falling in love, Sam's death, and finally, her inability to kill Pete for the greater good.

She felt as if she were having a panic attack. Her chest was tight and she was finding it difficult to breath. She was feeling dizzy as well. Leaning her head on a tree she tried to catch her breath and calm down. Myka hated losing control. She was afraid that, if it ever happened, she wouldn't be able to find it again. That's how she managed to survive all this time - remaining in command of her emotions, and not letting them seep out at all. But everything that happened with Pete pushed her to the point of losing it. Pete knew, and that's probably why he had been so persistent in trying to talk about it. She wasn't ready; she'd told him that, but he had been relentless. Why does he do that? Why couldn't he just let her be?

Exhausted from sprinting and agonizing, Myka sank to the ground and leaned back against the tree. The rain fell, drenching her as she sat and tried to regain some control. The rain made it easier for her to cry and not realize she was doing it.

Pete found her there, sitting on the rain-soaked ground, leaning against a tree. Her eyes were closed, and he thought that only some of the water on her face was rain.

"Hey partner, it's time to come inside," he coaxed as he got closer.

Myka turned her face to him. "Pete, how could you ask me to kill you? Why did you think I could do that?"

The look on her face broke his heart. She was so sad and scared. How could he make her believe he knew she wouldn't let him _really_ die?

"Myka, I knew you wouldn't let me actually die, that's why."

"But I couldn't move. The moment you asked me that, I couldn't move. I froze, Pete. If Rebecca hadn't been there-" she started.

"-You would have eventually been able to do it." Pete assured her, offering his hand to help her up.

Myka looked at his hand, then up at him. "I'm not so sure you're right. I don't think I could have, Pete. I honestly don't think I could handle losing another partner. It hurt too much, Pete," she told him before taking his hand.

"That's why I'm around…to help you get past that by annoying you, teasing you and always having your back when it counts. Just like you always have my back. You're a lot stronger than you think you are Myka. A lot stronger," he repeated, helping her up.

Pulling her closer, he exclaimed, "Geez Myka you're soaked. Come on we're going in now," he told her.

Myka closed her eyes, berating herself when she realized that Artie, Claudia and Leena had probably heard her leaving.

Pete felt her stiffen a little as they started back towards the B&B. "Myka they're all worried about you, just as I am. We're not judging you. We're your friends and you can trust us."

When they made it back, Artie opened the doors; Claudia had towels for both of them and Leena had hot tea ready.

"Both of you need to go upstairs and get out of those wet clothes," she told them as she set the tea on the table.

Myka didn't say anything as she made her way up the stairs. Pete let her go up first because he could feel the others' eyes boring into both of them.

"She'll be fine. Seems that everything that happened in Detroit with the Spine brought back some bad memories," he filled them in before he went up to change out of his wet clothes.

Myka dug out some dry PJs and put them on. She wrapped a towel around her shoulders to keep her soaking hair from getting her shirt wet while she used another one to squeeze some of the excess moisture out of her hair.

Pete knocked on her door a short time later. "You okay?" he asked pushing it open.

"I'm not sure but I'm not going to hurt you if that's what you're afraid of," she told him, throwing the wet towel at him. She threw the other one in her closet.

"Hey!" he laughed throwing it back at her. Myka caught it and tossed it on top of the other one.

"Pete."

"Yeah, Myka?"

"Don't ever ask me to kill you again. _Please_..." she whispered, voice breaking.

"Hopefully, I won't ever have to ask you to do that again," he told her.

"I guess I can learn to live with that," she smiled, wryly.

"I smell Leena making cookies. Let's go," he coaxed.

Myka yawned and shook her head. "I think I'm going to turn in," she declined.

"But Leena made tea, just for you. They were all worried about you. Didn't you see that?" he asked hoping to get her to come down for a little while.

"I did but really Pete, I'm not up to getting grilled by Artie, Leena and Claudia," she said.

"What makes you think they'll grill you? Maybe they just want to reassure you that they care."

Realizing he's not going to go away unless she gives in, the dark-haired woman went downstairs with Pete.

Artie, Leena, and Claudia were waiting. Artie motioned for her to sit in the chair closest to the fireplace, Claudia had a blanket ready, and Leena was pouring tea. None of them said a word. Pete sat in the chair opposite Myka, and Claudia threw a blanket to him.

"Once you two have finished your reports why don't you take a couple days to yourselves? Things are looking pretty calm for now. You deserve it," Artie told his agents.

"Artie, do we have to do them now?" Pete mock-whined, grinning at his partner who rolled her eyes.

"Pete, don't start with me or I'll put you on inventory duty," Artie threatened.

"Busted," Claudia mocked.

Leena handed Myka a cup of tea. "Are you hungry? I could heat up some of the leftovers from dinner," she offered.

Myka smiled. "Thank you for the tea. No thank you, I'm a little too tired to eat right now."

After drinking some of the tea, Myka set the cup down and stood up. She put the blanket on the chair as she yawned. "I think I'm going to turn in now. I'm sorry I worried everyone," she apologized.

"I'm just glad you're okay. I was worried when we came back earlier. You were really shivering," Claudia said, getting up and hugging Myka.

"If you get hungry later, there's a plate in the fridge for you," Leena told her as she retrieved the tea cup Myka had been using.

"Sleep well Myka," Artie told her.

"Good night partner, sweet dreams," Pete called as she headed up the stairs.

"You too Pete," she responded from the landing.

Once in her room, Myka crawled under the covers. She realized after getting comfortable that she left her door open. Deciding she was too tired to care, she drifted into sleep.

Later, when Pete came up to go to bed, he noticed Myka's door was ajar. Hearing a noise he peeked in to make sure she was okay. As he approached the foot of her bed, his namesake started chattering. Afraid the ferret might wake her up Pete opened the cage and pulled out Myka's pet.

"Shhhh, little guy, you'll wake her up with all that noise," Pete whispered as he tried to keep a hold of the ferret. But Pete, the ferret, was too fast and soon he was flying out of Pete's hands and onto Myka's bed. Sleeping on her side, Myka didn't stir when the ferret landed and quickly scampered the length of the bed then diving under the covers before Pete could move.

Feeling something wiggling next to her, Myka woke up, "How'd you get out?" she wondered groggily as he wedged himself between her chest and the bed. Myka blinked her eyes a couple of times, "Pete what are you doing?"

"Uh…I was making sure you were okay. I heard your ferret making noise and was afraid he would wake you up. I opened the cage and took him out trying to quiet him down. Next thing I know he's out of my hands and on your bed," her partner explained.

Myka yawned as she pet her ferret, "You sneaky little devil. Tricking Pete like that and trying to get him in trouble," she lovingly admonished her pet.

"I can put him back," Pete offered.

"I doubt it; he'd just wiggle free and head for my bed again. He's fine. I'll put him back in the morning," she told her friend.

"Should I leave you two alone?" Pete teased watching Myka absently stroking the ferret's fur.

"You are so weird," she told him, stifling another yawn. "Good night Pete."

"Good night Myka," Pete responded as she made herself comfortable again. He stood there for a few minutes wanting to make sure she was going to be okay. Myka drifted off to sleep with a hand slowly petting her ferret.

When she finally appeared to be sleeping peacefully, Pete tiptoed out and shut her door.

The End.


End file.
